


Over It

by SuperCerulean



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 14:19:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16683235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperCerulean/pseuds/SuperCerulean
Summary: You know Jason is hiding something from you. It didn’t matter to you for a long time, but now your doubts are catching up with you. The way he’s acting makes you think he’s cheating on you, but you can’t be sure. If he’s not then what else could he be hiding?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s a little angsty thing I thought of while listening to Never Call Me (Jhene Aiko) (Originally posted to my Tumblr)

Enough was enough. You were so sick of everything. Sick of doubting yourself. Sick of lying awake at night wondering if he really loved you or if you were just a hobby. The past few weeks consisted of you crying yourself to sleep with the worst case scenarios dominating your thoughts. Could Jason really be cheating on you? At first the idea seemed impossible. How could he fake the way he looked at you? The adoration in his eyes or the smile on his face. Maybe at first, but to fake something like that for two years didn’t seem plausible. 

Still, as much as your heart wanted to believe he’d never do something like that to you, your brain persisted in it’s doubts. There was never any proof that he could be cheating, but it seemed so obvious when you reviewed his behaviour. He was only halfway there when he was with you. Sometimes you held his undivided attention, but more often than not he was divided. The other half of him was on his phone or flaking out on dates. Not only that, but he answered your calls sporadically and would rush off of them. He could have been busy, but he also could have been with someone better. The latter thought is what you feared the most. 

Jason being distracted and unavailable in itself wasn’t all that left you worried. His excuses for everything were total bullshit. “It’s a work thing” or “I’m texting a friend”. of course, when you asked about it for more information, he redirected the question or came up with even more excuses. Whatever he was doing you were done being understanding and done feeling like you were the only one putting one hundred percent into the relationship. If he couldn’t tell you the truth, then you would have to be done with the relationship. You loved him, sometimes more than you could bear to think about, but you couldn’t take being lied to. Not anymore. All the sadness you felt about him was anger now and it burned in your heart like a wildfire until one day you finally did something about it. 

It happened when you called him to share a story about one of your crazy coworkers. Despite everything, part of you still yearned to hear his voice and to share something funny that happened during your day. Were you surprised that he was once again only paying you half of his attention? No, but it was still pissing you off and without even thinking you were going off on him about it. 

Jason was humming along in half assed agreement over your last statement when you suddenly stopped talking. You let the line fall into silence for a few seconds, waiting to see if he would even notice that you’d stopped talking. It took longer than you thought it would, giving your anger time to grow even further. When Jason’s voice came through again, calling your name cautiously, you let out a bitter laugh. 

“It took you awhile to notice I stopped talking, huh?” you said. Jason immediately went into his apologies. Like he did everytime you caught him not listening. You cut him off this time, not willing to waste any more time humoring his shitty excuses. 

“I’m so over this.” Tears were burning in your eyes, but they weren’t from sadness. Not yet anyway. 

Jason paused before his voice came in again. “Over what?’ he said sounding closer to the speaker and confused. 

“This. Me trying my hardest to connect with you and make this work and you not giving a fuck.” 

“I’m sorry, I was-” 

“Doing something for work? Yeah, that’s what you always say. Can you at least tell me what it is you’re working on? Or better yet; where you work? For all I know you could be with someone else traipsing around Gotham-” 

“I would never cheat on you,” he stated firmly. The anger in his voice at the accusation made you pause and he took that as his opportunity to speak. “I love you and there’s no one else for me.” 

“Okay well if you’re not with someone else, then what aren’t you telling me? You’re always gone or texting someone else. It feels like you don’t even want to be with me.” 

There was shuffling on Jason’s side of the call before his voice returned again in a harsh whisper. “How could you say that? I know I’m never around, but I do the best I can. I thought you were okay with that.” His voice didn’t show it, but you could tell by his words that he was hurt too. You wanted to stop and to tell him that it was all okay and to not be upset but you thought about all of the times you felt upset. When you felt unwanted and alone and he wasn’t there to make you feel better. That fueled you not to give in this time. 

“I was, but it’s been two years. I could deal with you being away for a long time, but you still can’t even give me a reason other than “work” for a job you won’t tell me about. In fact, I don’t know anything about you. I can count the number of times i’ve met your family on one hand and you barely let me speak to them, you won’t tell me about your friends and you won’t tell me anything personal about your life. I know less about you than half of my fucking coworkers!”

“You know me. You know who I am and what kind of person I am even without all of that background shit. Isn’t that enough?” 

Your throat was closing up now, making your voice sound small as tears began falling down your face. Every word you said hurt like a knife going through your heart, but you couldn’t keep going with them weighing down on your conscious. “I can’t take not knowing anymore. God, this is so hard. I love you Jason, I really do. It’s gotten to a point where I can’t imagine living my life without you and that’s terrifying when I’m not even sure you’re on the same page.”

“Y/N, please. Can we please talk about this when I get back. I’ll prove to you how much I care, just give me the chance.”

“Can you tell me where you are right now?”

His silence hurt worse than any response you could imagine. It took a moment for you to gain the resolve to speak again, barely being able to choke out the words. 

“I thought so. I’m done, Jason. Don’t even worry about coming to my apartment. There’s nothing to talk about.” 

As soon as you ended the call, you threw your phone to the other side of the couch. Whatever composure kept you from breaking down on the phone ended with the call and you were sobbing before it even hit the couch. You really just broke up with Jason. The man you spent years imagining yourself being with forever. Even if he wasn’t cheating on you, he still didn’t trust you with his life the way you trusted him. You didn’t think he ever would.


	2. Over It (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know Jason is hiding something from you. It didn’t matter to you for a long time, but now your doubts are catching up with you. The way he’s acting makes you think he’s cheating on you, but you can’t be sure. If he’s not then what else could he be hiding?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not expect so many people to enjoy this! Thank you so much for reading and enjoying this. I hope you guys enjoy this part as much as the first one. (Originally posted to my Tumblr)

The next time you saw Jason was purely by coincidence. Your friends were being extremely supportive during the break up and they convinced you to go out to Gotham’s most popular amusement park. At first, the thought of spending your day surrounded by flashing lights and screaming kids didn’t sound that appealing, but they weren’t letting you give up without a fight. In the end, they forced you into one of your nicest outfits and dragged you to the park despite your whining. 

When you all got there, it was a lot more fun than you thought it would be. For once, your thoughts weren’t on Jason and you were able to just have fun and smile without the weight of your heart dragging you down. That is, until you saw him. 

It was after your ride on the carousel that you realized Jason was there too. A strong gust of cotton candy scented wind caught you as you exited the ride and when you turned away your eyes met his. He was in line for the ferris wheel a few yards away, looking windswept and gorgeous. The moment your eyes locked it was like his arm reached out across the crowd and through your chest, grabbing a tight hold on your heart. You couldn’t look away for a while, completely paralyzed by his sudden appearance. He too, seemed frozen in time, his eyes widened and his lips parted as he took in the sight of you. 

When you felt like you could breathe again reality faded back into your awareness and with it came the weight of your heartbreak. You were back to feeling broken and angry at him. Here you were, out with your friends, trying your hardest to forget how bad your heart yearned for him and he had the nerve to show up and stomp your plans into the dirt. The nerve to look at you like you were the reason his world was falling apart. 

When your gaze was freed from his hold on it, you noticed that he was with his family. The one he didn’t want you around. Despite how hard he’d tried to keep you away from them, you could recognize a few of them. They didn’t seem to notice Jason’s disconnect from them or the way he was looking at you. They were still in their own little world having fun and laughing together. What you should have been doing. 

You wouldn’t let Jason get the best of you again. No matter how he looked at you, you were still going to have fun with your friends. Too much of your time was spent obsessing over everything he did and wishing for him to be with you. It was his turn to feel empty. 

With a dismissive flick of your gaze that you’d practiced hundreds of times in your mirror,. you turned on your heels and back to where your attention should have been. You made a big show of having fun with your friends even though your back was to him. Whether you saw him or not, you spent every moment laughing, dancing and showing as much happiness as you could purely out of spite. When you did manage to catch a glimpse of Jason, you made doubly sure that any evidence that you were crumbling down on the inside was invisible and any pain that might have slipped through your mask was buried deep. 

The act you were putting on was vastly different than what Jason looked like when you saw him. He didn’t bother trying to hide the fact that he wasn’t hurting. At least not from you. His jaw would tense whenever he saw you and the same haunted look would pass over his eyes. To someone else, there wasn’t much of a change, but to you it was like watching a thunderstorm roll over clear skies. A thunderstorm that you knew you caused. 

It wasn’t fair.

He didn’t get to make you feel guilty. Not after how long he left you hurting. With this in mind, you kept up your resolve. For the rest of the day until the sun set, you kept up your act. Jason hadn’t cropped up in your field of view for a long time and you assumed it was because he left. Relief washed over your entire being and you finally felt like you could relax. Just as the sun began to disappear in it’s dazzling display of pink and orange clouds, Jason’s grip on your heart was replaced by his grip on your arm as he dragged you into a shadowed opening between a cluster of food stands. 

When he pulled you into the sweet scented shadows, you stumbled to stand close enough to him to feel his breath on your cheeks. Your entire body shuddered when your eyes fluttered up to meet his. His dark hair and lashes shaded the deep ocean of his irises as they darted across your face. Hs arms were a steel cage around your elbows, leaving goosebumps where the skin of his hands met yours. The air that had been forced out of your lungs didn’t return as you stared at him, captured in both his embrace and his gaze. HIs voice was what broke you out of your trance. 

“Why are you doing this to me?” He whispered. His words were rough as they fanned over your face and you had to blink a few times to register what it was he said. When you did, the wonderstruck expression on your face dropped and you yanked your arms out of his grip. you stepped back until you were against the opposite stall to him, giving you space to catch your breath. 

“Doing what?” You said, your voice harsh. “I came here to have fun with my friends, not to argue with my ex boyfriend between pretzel stalls.” You avoided looking back into his eyes, instead settling on a spot above his shoulder. Looking into his eyes made your knees weak, and for this encounter you needed to be strong. 

“I didn’t mean to run into you here. I wouldn’t have showed up if I knew you were coming here too.”

“Thanks for the thought? I don’t know why you felt the need to snatch me up like this.” You tried to ignore the weight of his gaze on you. It was becoming harder and harder, especially since he’d stopped talking. It took a while, but finally he spoke again. This time, quiet and almost obscured by his breath. You managed to make out what he was saying though, and his words ignited the anger in your heart. 

“I miss you,” he said. Your eyes darted to his, finally meeting them with a fire of your own. 

“Don’t say that. You can’t make me feel guilty and regret my decision when you hurt me first,” you replied shortly. 

“You didn’t even give me a chance to defend myself,” he responded. You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest. The malice didn’t leave your eyes when you stepped closer to him. 

“Okay then, here’s your chance. Are you gonna’ be honest with me? Tell me where you go every night and who you’re with? Oh, let’s start with what your mystery job is!” Jason dropped his gaze. 

“It’s not that simple,” he said. His hands were clenched at his sides and his jaw tensed as he looked back at you. “You don’t think I want to tell you? Lying to you is agonizing and I hate myself everytime I do it.” 

“Then why do you do it?! Why would you lie to me and keep secrets when you know it’s hurting both of us?” 

“Because telling you could hurt you worse. I kept things from you because I didn’t want to lose you or see you in danger but I ended up losing you anyway. Why can’t we just go back to before? We were happy without all of this drama.” You shook your head, feeling everything building up atop your anger. Your feelings were mixed together in your confused heart and it only fueled the tears you were trying to keep at bay in your eyes. 

“You were happy Jason. I wasn’t! I had to sit alone with the worst of my thoughts eating away at me. It’s not that simple for me either. I can’t keep putting my everything into loving you when I know you’re lying to me about something. I honestly believe you when you say you wouldn’t cheat on me, but you’re hiding a huge part of your life from me. You can’t honestly think I’m being unfair when I say I can’t live with that.” 

Jason was looking at the sky, his chest heaving. You could tell he was doing his best to keep his own tears from falling but you had already given up on stopping them. They were now streaming down your face and dripping onto the forgotten candy at your feet. 

“I love you more than I think I’ve ever loved anyone,” You said, regaining his cloudy gaze. “But if you can’t be honest with me, then I can’t be with you.” 

You left your last words hanging in the air, turning and rushing back into the park. Back to your friends where you could let go of all of the sadness you’d been holding in for the entire day.


	3. Over It (3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know Jason is hiding something from you. It didn’t matter to you for a long time, but now your doubts are catching up with you. The way he’s acting makes you think he’s cheating on you, but you can’t be sure. If he’s not then what else could he be hiding?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the final part!!!! Thank you all for reading and enjoying this little idea I had. I look forward to sharing more of them and I really hope you enjoy the conclusion to this series <3 (Originally posted to my Tumblr)

Life without Jason was…empty. No matter how many days passed, the hole in your heart remained as vacant as it had been every other day. At least when you were together there was a part of you that knew that wherever he was, he would come back. Now, that part was dormant and it left the world around you feeling way too big. There was too much space for you to fill up on your own. You hadn’t realized how much he affected your life and how different it would be without him there until he was really gone. Now you were left incomplete. 

As awful as you felt, you didn’t regret what you did. Your life wouldn’t stay like this forever. It couldn’t…right? You were able to feel whole on your own before you met Jason. If you could do it before, you could find your way back to that place. One day. 

That day didn’t come for a long time. The feeling of missing him consumed you for almost two weeks. Waking up feeling more alone than ever and going to sleep knowing something was missing. It felt like you might never be able to find your way out of the sadness of your broken heart. Like you would never be able to go on without him. Right when you started to lose hope that you might ever heal, something strange happened. 

It was after a late night out with your friends. When you finally returned to your apartment something felt…off. The air had an unsettling feel to it that brought goosebumps to your skin and made an unpleasant shiver crawl down your spine. The feeling didn’t fade when you turned the living room lights on or when you dropped your bag onto the coffee table. It wasn’t until you shrugged your jacket off that you realized what was the cause of your anxiety. The window. It was open, letting a cool breeze flow into the room and disrupt the quiet peace you were used to. 

Instantly you were on edge. Your hands closed around the pepper spray on your keychain, ready to attack at the first sign of danger. This was Gotham. You knew damn well never to leave your window open and you knew even better that it wasn’t uncommon to get broken into. What you didn’t know was exactly who would have broken in. It didn’t seem like someone had gone through your things looking for things to steal, but for all you knew you could have caught them right as they broke in. Then again, petty criminals weren’t the worst thing to worry about. It would be just your luck that someone like RIddler or Two-Face decided to target you as a hostage for their next big scheme. The best reaction in this situation would be to run for the door and hope you reach help before someone else gets to you first. You were about to do just that when a movement down the hallway caught your eye. 

Immediately, your heart picked up in speed, pounding so hard that you could hear it in your ears. Your feet remained frozen in place as the shadowed figure emerged into your line of sight. Whatever fight or flight response you had must have been fucking broken because the only reaction you were able to muster was clutching your pepper spray tighter in your hands. After what felt like ages, the lights of your living room hit a bright red helmet before reaching the darker shades of metallic armor. 

The guy, whom you quickly recognized as the Red Hood, was fully in the light now, his arms held parallel to his head in a surrendering stance. The holsters that hung around his hips and his thigh seemed empty and he made no sudden movements as he approached you. 

The fear in your heart wilted slightly now that you knew who it was that was in your house, but you still weren’t completely sure you weren’t in danger. Red Hood wasn’t like Batman. He was as capable of taking a life as he was of saving one, so you were left hoping that you weren’t on his bad side. Even without a weapon, he could probably kill you in fifty different ways. 

“I’m not going to hurt you.” His voice was deep and robotic, likely being scrambled by his helmet. Despite his announcement, you found yourself cowering closer and closer to your front door. When your back hit the rough surface, you raised your own arms in a mirror of his stance. 

A chuckle cut through the air between the two of you, shaking the Hood’s chest through his armor. “Why do you have your hands up?” He had a kind of witty tone that seemed vaguely familiar. Still, you didn’t move, eyes watching him carefully. 

“You kind of b-broke into my apartment at two o’clock in the morning so I’m trying my best not to be the next thing you break.” 

“Technically, I didn’t break anything; I just picked the lock,” he replied. He paused for a second before he spoke again, all humor lost in his tone. “But I would never hurt you.” 

What? What the actual fuck? Okay, so not only is the Red Hood in your house but now he’s making vows to never hurt you? He might have meant it in a way to calm your nerves, but if anything it made them worse. Your heart still felt like it was trying to fuel a renegade train and your hands were still trembling by your ears. Despite this, you made an effort to at least act like you weren’t on the verge of a heart attack. 

“Okay…” He kept his hands raised calmly in the air as you moved away from your door. You maneuvered around your furniture cautiously, standing a bit closer to the center of the room. After a few steps, you stopped so that you were still a comfortable few feet away from him. “Then why are you here?”

“I…There’s something you need to know,” he responded. His hesitation peaked your interest and you watched silently as his hands slowly moved to his helmet. Your eyes widened when you saw him take hold of it, a quiet hiss signalling the detachment of the helmet from the rest of his suit.

“Just…promise not to scream or anything,” he said, sounding much more human. Your head paused mid-nod as you caught a wave of familiarity in the voice. You weren’t given much time to ponder over it before the helmet was off, revealing. black hair streaked white, ocean eyes and the missing piece to your heart. 

Jason. 

“Holy Shit,” you whispered. He lowered the helmet in front of himself, watching you very carefully and looking as if he was expecting you to faint. Your thoughts were everywhere. Jason is…Red Hood? This is what he’s been hiding from you. God, you thought he was hiding a gambling addiction or something; Not the fact that he exchanged bullets for a living. 

“Please say something. I’m still trying to convince myself this wasn’t a huge mistake,” he said, capturing your attention again. 

“You-I…This is your secret?” 

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I spent all this time debating whether or not I should tell you. I wanted to keep this part of my life away from you, but it’s a part of me. I should have known it would be impossible.” 

You lowered yourself onto your couch, your hand covering the lower half of your shocked face. Jason stayed in place, moving the helmet between his hands nervously. His helmet. His Red Hood helmet. You were still stuck trying to process that. The more you thought about it, the more it explained everything you had questions about. The scars covering his body, the cancelled dates, the lying. It all made sense when you knew who he really was. 

“Oh my god,” you cried out. Jason flinched, his eyes wide as you returned your gaze to his. “I broke up with you for protecting Gotham.” He relaxed a little once he knew what your sudden revelation was, but you sunk further into your own lap. Awful wouldn’t even begin to describe how you felt. You dumped him and broke his heart because he spent his nights stopping crime around your city and making it a safer place to live in. You felt like an idiot. “That was so unfair to you. I shouldn’t have forced you to tell me like that. Fuck, I feel like such an asshole.” 

“It’s okay, I don’t blame you,” he said. You felt the couch sink as he sat down beside you. It was so weird seeing him sitting right next to you in full armor. He dropped his helmet down next to your bag on the coffee table and looked back at you. “You were right about what you said before. It’s not right to keep asking you to look the other way when I lie to you. You’ve been with me when I’ve been at my worst and you’ve seen parts of me that I haven’t let anyone else see. Telling you the truth was long overdue.” 

You nodded, still not over mentally kicking yourself in the ass for treating him so badly. Jason sat further back into the couch, leaning his upper half more towards you as he settled in better. 

“This is so fucking weird,” you said. You followed his lead and sat back as well, pulling your knees up and turning to face him. “I know it’s you, but seeing you in the suit is just not registering right in my head.” 

“Hm, I look that good, huh?” he said, tilting his head with a cocky smile. You made a big show of scoffing and rolling your eyes, but your eyes did do a quick scan over him again. He definitely wasn’t wrong. 

Cool metal brushed against your hand before Jason slipped his into your own. You looked back up at him, eyes becoming reacquainted with his features. Being away from him for so long made you almost forget how entrancing his eyes could be up close. The relief in them was clear as his gaze fluttered down to where your hands were joined. 

“Does this mean we’re back together?” he breathed. Hie eyes found your own again and this time it was your turn to smile. 

“Only if you promise to let me try the helmet on.” Jason’s faces split into another grin, his eyes lighting up. 

“Deal.”


End file.
